This worries me. Does it worry anyone else?

"Why am I getting 'Friend Requests' from people I don't know?"


I hope to hell I am not the only person put off by this, the world's most inane FAQ question.
We all know it peeves me tremendously that it is so perturbing for some people to be solicited on myspace by anybody they don't "know"; essentially it defeats the purpose of myspace. Regardless, if you prefer not to be solicited for e-friendship by strange internet folk, I suppose I can try to respect that (RESPECT, not understand, mind you). But to be honestly and sincerely confounded by the, um, PUBLIC nature of the internet and of myspace, well that just indicates sub-par intelligence levels. To be fair, I do realize that the majority of folks posing this question are new to myspace, but really, is that any excuse? It doesn't take a proficient myspacer to know why there are unanticipated friend requests popping up in their damn friend request box, just any ordinary PERSON with a sense of logic present in their thought process, however minimal. Perturbing, my dear? Far, FAR more perturbing is that the question has been asked so frequently that Tom saw fit to include it in the myspace FAQ. And still more perturbing is YOUR STUPIDITY.

But the bulk of the shock value in the absurdity of the question can be attributed to the way it is angled. Tom does not know all. He can offer you guidance in the even that your account is hacked, he can provide technical support, but he is not privvy to the secret thoughts and SINISTER ulterior motives of these dubious characters requesting you as a friend, which in essence, is what you are expecting him to tell you. It is neither a question of the technical variety nor one requesting assistance in making all sorts of profile adjustments. Rather, it belongs under the category of "Tom, why is Becky mad at me? Tom, how does the world work? Tom, how do I convince my wife not to leave me? Tom, what is the meaning of life?"
Oh, I know! I'll ask Tom! I'll send him a message demanding an explanation as to how one would account for these interlopers who appear to have infiltrated this private, top-secret, super-exclusive information network -- accessible only by people within my personal circle of friends and me -- known as the internet. TOMMMM! WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE I HAVE NO PERSONAL AFFILIATION WITH REQUESTING ME AS A FRIEND?!
Tom will know. Tom is the all-knowing magic 8 ball.

I think the real concern underlying the matter is:
Tom... why don't I have any common sense? (That, I'm afraid, Tom cannot help you with.)
Hey, Tom, I have a suggestion. Let's make that FAQ question #19 under Miscellaneous. No, it'll be great. The link will open a page that says "Because, my dear, you are a myspacer."

Hey, listen. Your profile? It serves a PURPOSE. And that purpose is not to inform someone you had a lengthy discussion about Kurt Vonnegut over lunch with two hours ago that you love Kurt Vonnegut. Or to tell someone you correspond with regularly and went to a Decemberists show with a week ago that you like the Decemberists.
I'll leave it to you to figure out what the purpose is; it's simple enough.