oh no! somewhere there's a vision-impaired hipster running around with no glasses!

We briefly interrupt this hiatus to bring you the story of a barhopper who lost their weezer glasses friday night. (Versace eyewear... how eurotrash of you, hipster barhopper. Although, I am afraid, I'm guilty of associating with someone who wears Prada weezer glasses.) This is tragic, you understand, for somewhere in Manhattan there is a hipster with poor vision who's missing their Versace frames.

CLEARLY an effort by the Powers That Be to level the imbalance in the universe resulting directly from the foolish counterculture style phenomenon that is the wearing of black square-framed glasses as a fashion accessory by trendwhores who needn't any vision correction.
I've just insulted nearly every vision-impaired person within my network of friends and associates. My work here is done.

Carry on!